Flagship sitting · App Analytics

Cohort Retention Studio

Twelve weeks of cutting, decaying, and defending retention so a cheerful D7 cannot hide a hollow product. Informational fee: £1,840. No payment is taken on this page.

Analytics dashboard showing trend lines and comparison panels

What you leave with

  • A cohort definition you can read aloud without footnotes.
  • A decaying-retention notebook with exclusions written in the margin.
  • A one-page board note that refuses blended averages.
  • A critique of your current D1/D7/D30 cuts, including the ones you should stop publishing.

SQL comfort helps by week 4. If your world is only a GUI, The Briefing is a kinder first room — we will say so in the placement note rather than let you drown in JOINs.

Modules

  1. The unblended cohort. Who is in, who is out, and why “all users this month” is not a cohort.
  2. Time zero that can be defended. First open, first value, first purchase — pick one and write the exclusion list.
  3. Classic retention versus rolling. When each lie is more dangerous than the other.
  4. Decay and the Sunday JOIN. Rebuilding a curve from exports. This week is heavier on SQL than the prospectus first implied; we now flag that in the placement note.
  5. Segment cuts that earn their keep. Platform, acquisition week, and the segment you must not use because N is theatre.
  6. Onboarding debt on day three. Reading a flatten without inventing a north star.
  7. Resurrection and the zombie returner. People who come back because of a password reset.
  8. Leading markers that are not vanity. Session quality versus a completed job-to-be-done.
  9. The board one-pager. A figure, a sentence, and the thing you still do not know.
  10. House style for retention in App Analytics. How the studio expects a ledger to look.
  11. Closing critique. You present; the cohort marks in the margin.
Portrait of tutor Miriam Hale

Tutor

Miriam Hale

Miriam led product measurement for a FTSE-listed publisher before moving the practice north. She still writes the placement notes by hand and will send you back to The Briefing if your tracking plan cannot yet support a cohort. She teaches from the United Kingdom and keeps office hours on Tuesday afternoons.

Letters from this sitting

“I arrived convinced our D7 was a product win. After module two it was clearly a mix of returning shoppers and a fire on the first-open event. Uncomfortable, and correctly so.”
Anonymous client in grocery delivery

★★★★☆

“Verified learner · Cohort Retention Studio, spring sitting. The decaying notebook is the artefact I still open. Seminars ran long. Would take Event Taxonomy Atelier next if the diary allows.”

Questions we actually hear

Do I need SQL before week 1?

You need to be willing to read a SELECT. Week 4 will punish anyone who has never joined two tables. That is a real limitation of this sitting, not a badge of honour. If that describes you, start with The Briefing or ask for a primer list in your application.

Which tools do you standardise on?

None. We accept BigQuery, Snowflake, Amplitude, Mixpanel, or a well-kept spreadsheet if the grain is honest. The ledger is the standard, not the vendor.

Is the £1,840 paid here?

No. This site does not collect payment. If we offer a seat, the studio invoices by email. See fees and refunds.

Can my whole team sit in?

The Atelier is one named seat. For a house of up to eight, ask about The Residencies.

Ask for a placement note

Describe the retention number you currently distrust. We reply within two working days.